Crazy Maid of Phantomhive Manor
by waterfowl29
Summary: Psycho Maid Minnie drives Ciel to the brink with three simple steps. [Ciel X Maid(OC)] One Shots Rated: M Language, Mentions of Drug use and other things.


Disclaimer: Don't Own.

Chapter One

Three Stupidest Ways to Piss Off Ciel Phantomhive

STEP ONE

Do something to the tea she bring him for breakfast in the morning "Hello My master." Minnie Said cheerfully.

"Fine, Place it there." He said reading the morning paper. Then he took a sip but spits it out turning green "Yuck! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TRY TO KILL ME!"

"No Master I Only used one of the servant sweaty dirty socks to help brew the Tea." She said it calmly like talking about the weather.

"Get THE HELL OUT! Minnie ran off giggling to herself her soft foot steps were heard and the door calmly closed behind her.

STEP TWO

Ciel came two his office and to get some work done he walked to his desk and sat at his desk when a foul smell hit his nose. "By THE GODS what is that HORRID SMELL it like someone died in here."

Then he quickly got away from the chair and breathed in fresh air out a nearby window when he went back to the chair and inspected it was the odor was strongest coming from the chair's seat cushion. A vein popped out of his head he screamed at the top of his lungs "MAID!" he yelled for her.

Minnie's heels fastely clicked on the floor boards "Yes My Master" that was said with a bow to hide the sly smile from view she had on her face thinking about what she did earlier.

"Why is the Damn chair smell like foul rottening eggs please would you explain this for me WHY? that might be right at this time of day. Please."

"Well yes I Did sit at your desk It was made of very nice wood that I just had to touchy the wood." She said crazy.

"GET TO THE POINT, NOW!" He Yelled out with a annoyed face.

"Okay sheesh I sat there admiring the desk and took a seat in the chair when suddenly I felt pressure in my poor little tummy and then let out a Big RIP then it felt aww better again and that make me have a happy day." Minnie laughed very strangely.

"Excuse me?" He asked exasperated.

"What I ate Some Pinto Beans that all there was I could find to eat, Sebastian hide the food from me." She say with a cute little pout.

"Please GET OUT!"

The Maid body slump and dragged slowly out the door very sad she cried crocodile tears thinking 'He such a meanie.' 

STEP THREE

Minnie brought home a drunk Undertaker to come with her to the mansion she dragged him in he was so heavy for little her. She let him rest on the steps then picked him up again he leaned on her shoulder for support other wise he fall all the way down to the ground. She then proceeded to go up to Ciel's front door.

"Pleazey tell me a jokey?" Whine the Slurred gray hair guy.

"Okay here it goes, A man walks into a bar sits down on the stool in discomfort. The bar tender asks Crush Nuts? " No arthritis." Minnie said randomly.

The drunk man went all crazy"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He fell to the floor in his hysterics she dragged him into Ciel Room putting him on the sleepy person in bed then ran out of there real fast like a fire cracker was about to go off.

"THE F*CK! UNDERTAKER?! GET THE HELL OFF ME! " a teehee his only reply from the drunk man.

"MAID come get him out of here and sing me back to sleep this instant. He commanded her.

"Never" she refused and crossed her arms.

"That's it I Have HAD IT" He ripped off his pirates patch and screamed "SEBASTIAN!"

HE walked calmly with a grace of a god out of the shadowy darkness " You Called for me, Master?"

"YES please THANK GOD remove this crazy bastard from my room!" he ordered the demon.

"Of Course Master." he throw the Reaper out the window he landed outside a thud sound was heard. He was still alive but passed out with a hang over.

"CIEL that was mean of you!" Minnie yelled at the boy.

"YOU! Sebastian kill her if she doesn't leave now."

"As You wish, Master." He RAN towards girl but lucky the maid had already left the head of the time she screaming and yanked open the front door so fast causing it to hit the wall create a hole and ran to the garden jumping into the bushes Minnie hide there the next morning she left the manor never to return to the crazy earl boy and his demon Butler." Never try these steps if you want to keep living like forever." Minnie said to no one in paticular. Minnie took out her hobo bag and put it through a stick and slung it over her shoulder and traveled down the empty road skipping while she whistled a random tune. She will never forget her first crush Ciel Phantomhive.


End file.
